Friends and Bruce Lee.

Bruce Lee is a man I admire very greatly. He had a favorite Taoist saying and I've always kept it in my mind. "Absorb what is useful; discard all else." If he thought a part of his style wasn't good enough he replaced it with something else. If he thought something wasn't right he improved it. The saying could've easily been "If it's good make it great, if it's great find something else to work on". Self cultivation is a path that lasts a life time and never finds an end. When I started my path as a Taoist I was just starting highschool and had few friends (After a falling out with the majority of them... they were bad apples anyway.)

Now I stare down my path once more and wonder if I can truly stay on it this time. Devotion to an external cause is easy. Blind faith is simple and unassailable. But to define your faith by your feelings and ideals alone is very difficult. There is no meter to gauge my success, no masters to guide me or bishops to moniter. Slowly bit by bit the old feelings return to me, I can sense the shift of energy in the wind. The charge in the air before battle or the calm and serene that follows. Looking again I see that I start alone, those that I looked too as friends are gone or turned to a path I cannot follow. It's lonely to workout alone, lonely to study alone, lonely to watch shows alone.

I suppose in many ways I brought this down upon myself and lamenting about it isn't going to better it at all. I regret having to turn away people who are not good for me... people I still have feelings for in various ways. It's ironic that I am lonely when there are those still willing to be my friend. I would trade so much for a steadfast best friend, someone at my side I could talk to without fear.