Sex, Life and Food.

Eye catching title eh?

In three weeks one of my best friends ever will be returning from his mission. It's a remarkable thing really that he put two years of his life into service to god. In those two years I made considerable progress to my material wealth. I lost control of my psyche, had several physical problems and lost virtually every friend I had. With the soon-to-be arrival of my friend I've been pushing myself harder to pull things together. 3 weeks I've given myself.

This has given me alot of reason to pull my own religion out of the swamp. Taoism has many many different schools and sects with varying degrees of seriousness. I found in a lengthy conversation with Justin many insights from his beliefs that reflect into mine. I'm not really 100% taoist. I've got some Buddhist in there, some hindu, alittle Shinto, a bit of leftover mormanism from my youth, Catholism and even alittle Bohemian Materialism. Even beliefs that do not fit neatly into any catagory. Why the title for this entry? I'll be there in a second I promise.

Sex is from a taoistic standpoint good and bad. It purges the body of Qing and empties it out. It's a dynamic movement of energy that is good for that body. When it's overused or improperly used it expends vital Qing uselessly. As much as I enjoy physical intimacy the spiritual aspect is for me far more rewarding and yet elusive. I'm mentioning this because of how it ties into the next thing I'm going to ask.

What is the nature of the universe?

That one is sure a doozy eh? I honestly don't know. I can feel at times a power that moves the world. It is in the wind and water. It is man and woman. Beast and machine. I choose to call it tao. It could be god, or Buddha. or Allah or even Jehova. I know it's there but words to explain it are as elusive as it is. My objective in life was always to be powerful or famous. When I studied religion and philosophy those dreams changed. The idea of power for the sake of power became hollow, I examined those earlier seminal beliefs and found them to be based on anger, jealousy and resentment. I came to view the world in terms of accomplishment. What had I added to society? What causes did I support? How many children did I teach? Will my writings withstand the test of time?

That was not the only shift in my views. For the first time I became to really enjoy life. I lived with my senses. Touch, smell, sight, sound and even taste. That was the first step in my views on the essence of pleasure. I found the courage to speak up against injustice and intolerance. It was truly a time I look back to with a great amount of nostalgia. Nowadays I view life as a more complex puzzle. How can a god create such beauty and not expect it to be a vision of lust? Obviously god intended his work to be used, to be enjoyed, but like all artists he does not appreciate his work being mistreated or used improperly.

I feel strongly that life is a double sided challenge. We must enjoy life while contributing to the success and happiness of others. Happiness and kindness are amazing things. A kind word can do what a dozen threats cannot. It's infectious and potent. When we improve the quality of life for one we improve it for all. ourselves included. Can I admire the beauty of the world and still look into the dark and ugly side? Can I fight evil and admire good? It's a slippery slope to admire a womans body without wanting to possess it yourself. It's difficult to fight evil without yourself being dragged into it and becoming it. I feel that beauty and kindness do that.

Food and Sex are good for you. But they are pathes to evil. Justice quickly becomes vengence. Collecting what is needed quickly becomes obsession and greed. I seek the beauty of life and the evils. The good and the ugly. I will fight and I will create. If I fail then I know I at least failed trying. Like a necromancer of words I will bring to life dead projects. One such I will post tomorrow is the list of things I want to accomplish in my life. Oddly enough food and sex are a part of that list.