"Whats next"

If you complete a task that was twice your ability: Do you because twice a person?
Are we measured by our works and our accomplishments alone? Or perhaps our intentions and methods are weighed alongside them. There is no clear judge of a persons actions. A pious man may be that way out of fear and ignorance and not because of his experiences and knowledge.

I've thought alot about this today. I wonder if we are even being judged at all. God really can't keep score (Unless your a calvinist. In which case I'm sorry...) can he? Hundreds of years ago the debate of faith vs works became a hotly debated issue. To me it's an issue of what kind of god do you believe in. Do you believe god is an ass or an all powerful father?

Some people have asked what has bothered me the last few days. Because I did promise to leave the details of my life out of the blog I'll word this as carefully as I can.

I got my ass handed to me.

Yeah I got beat. Wasted, hosed, pwned, made into a bitch, screwed and stomped.
I had good intentions but quickly learned that nobody cares what your intentions are. Nobody cares if you act in their interest. If you act for the benefit of others it must be a ploy or a ruse. Mistrust was my undoing and I know for the future to guard my good intentions more closely.
I am no stranger to pain and failure; this is one more notch on the belt of life. My life is on the cusp of a new chapter, new challenges await me and laying flat on my back isn't getting me ready. So I take this pain and this failure and I use it. To make me stronger and more prepared.
The way I feel right this second has a perfect line to describe it. It comes from the west wing and I feel it appropriate to end this post with.

"Whats next?"