Guess what world? SCREW YOU.
Yeah. Thats right. You can beat me up. You can take away my love and happiness. You can even discourage me. But I won't give up. You are mine to conquer not the other way around. My heart may bleed but the sun still rises in the sky. Each morning the dawn gives us promise of another day and I can't waste it on sorrow or fear.
I will reclaim my friends. Even if I have to fight tooth and nail for it. Someday I will find love again. Even if I have to endure a hundred more heartaches. I live for this moment and every moment after it until my last. It is worth it to fight: without the struggle the prize is meaningless.
I am serene and tempest. dark and light. gentle and ruthless.
My strength is on the razors edge. I am ready.
I cannot lose. I cannot fail. This is the deaths ground. I live or die within my choice now.
In the quiet before the sunrise I ask the Tao for strength.
I am ready for the new day.
....
....
Thank you to those who did not abandon me. I walk with my own strength now.
2 comments:
Um. No.
By "who didn't give up on me" I mean people who didn't cheat on me while I was sick. Sorry for being unclear.
Just for the record, I never cheated on you. You know that. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry for whatever you think I did to you. I wish you didn't hate me and think that I'm a bad person, I'm not. I try not to be. I'm not a bad person, I'm just so different from the rest of you that I don't fit in, and you don't understand me. So you think I'm bad and evil...but I'm not. I'm like a lot of you, there's a scared little kid inside me too sometimes. I feel like I can't handle the stress that life brings: the stress of family when you feel you dont belong, the stress of going back to school, struggling to find a job, dealing with a grandmother who lives with you who has demencia and severe O.C.D. You feel like you can't handle everything. I'm stressed out and upset too, you aren't the only person with problems. Sometimes people have problems just as big as you do. I'm sorry for whatever I did and I just want so much for things to be okay again. To be the same before last summer, when you were a friend who was there when no one else was. I'm struggling to cope with things too, and I'm dealing with them in bad ways. I just wish you could take what you said seriously and try to regain things again. No one is so rich to throw away a friend...or someone who wants to be. Dont throw friendships out. I thought the good, strong friendships were better than that.
I really do want so much for you to be okay again, and have friends and be happy.
I never, EVER wished bad upon you. I always wanted you to be happy.
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