Drilling the Ice.

When researchers are measuring the effects of C02 in the artic they use Ice Cores. Essentially they use a big straw to pull out a section of ice which is then examined. You can see back thousands and thousands of years into the history of our planet by doing this.

This might come as a mild surprise to some but I haven't used my email much in several months. Quite intentionally I let the emails pile up without response. Occasionally I would skim for the people I felt I needed to talk to or an email I expect for various reasons. Since I started playing on Dark Iron my message box has filled with private messages on various forums. All un-read. It was exceptionally rude of me to do this. I felt I had a reason in isolating myself from the world; perhaps it was the right thing to do, perhaps not.

Going back to these emails many of which have never been opened exposes old wounds. My relationships in the past have been painful and my responses to them out of line. If I had taken the time to read each email I imagine things still would've been the same... but my responses could've been more civil. When you remove the pain from your heart you can see far more clearly the pain and discomfort you have caused others. It's a shame I learned this now and not a year ago.

The other striking thing is how pronounced the differences are over time. You can clear see the points that I am emotionally distressed and the points in which I am cold and uncaring. Farther on down the line I can see attempts at looking for answers and reconnecting to old friends. Then alittle further more roadblocks and emotional pitfalls. If I were an observer to my life I image it would be very insightful. It paints a very clear and flowing picture of a changing and unique person. The bumps become smaller and the successes become more pronounced as I read down the line. I'm not done and I imagine responding to every email over the last 3/4 of a year will take some time. Maybe some of them deserve silence. Who knows?